Fundamental Weaknesses
by SubParPerfection
Summary: Set in Season 5, after Luke and Lorelai's break up. Lorelai is contemplating moving away from Stars Hollow.
1. Get it Together, Gilmore

Disclaimer: Don't own the Gilmore Girls. Poor college student, have no , don't sue.

**Chapter 1: Get it Together, Gillmore**

She sat there, on her couch, where she had been sitting for the past hour and a half. The phone was still in her hand, dialing finger poised for the task at hand but somehow, unable to carry it out. She sighed heavily and turned her eyes to the ceiling in an effort to blink away tears. She didn't want to cry again. She'd been crying all morning, and she wouldn't let herself breakdown now when she'd just gotten herself together. But she had to let him know, had to talk to him, to tell him that she was leaving, moving, relocating, however the hell she'd decide to word it. She just couldn't do it right now. Not like this.

She threw the phone down on the couch beside her and stood up, walked into the kitchen and grabbed for her keys but they weren't there. She looked around, lifting up scattered papers, even checking the fridge and stove guessing that she'd stowed them there in her catatonic state. She glanced at the back door and there they were, still wedged in the keyhole as they had been many times before, including when Luke had picked her up for one of their dates. He had griped and grumbled about it and let her know how unsafe it was. Those memories came flooding back to her as tears flowed down her cheeks. She put a hand to her mouth and slowly removed the keys from the door.

"Get it together, Lorelai" she berated herself as she wiped her face clean and headed back into the living room and out the front door.

She stepped into her Jeep and started the engine. She couldn't sit in her house anymore thinking about what she was going to say, and how she was going to tell him, and how he'd react, and how hard it was going to be to watch his reaction, knowing that he wasn't going to say what she longed to hear.

Lorelai headed for the inn, knowing full well that it was her day off and that Sookie would undoubtedly send her back home, or at least try to. She needed to do something. She had to keep busy and she knew that nothing but the inn could do that, even if it meant sending one of the housekeepers home and doing their rounds.

She pulled into the Dragonfly lot, shut off the engine and walked into the lobby to see Michel talking on the phone in his usual manner.

"Yes, we have one room open for the week of the 26th. No. No, we only have one. If we had had four I would have said four. We have one. No. One. How many times must I say that you incompetent swine? We have ONE room, no more. Not two, not three, just ONE! Oh you are hopeless" he said as he hung up the phone.

Lorelai halfway smiled for the first time today. She walked past the front desk as Michel was mumbling something along the lines of "Why am I surrounded by these uncultured imbeciles?"

She walked into the kitchen and saw Sookie instructing one of her workers on how to properly cook a 12 pound fish.

"No, Nathan, listen to me. You can NOT cook that fish in this oil! It's too hot! You heat the oil, by itself, on medium high just until it starts to smoke, no longer! Then put the fish in right away. Got it? Good. Now go do it."

Sookie turned to see Lorelai watching her intently. "Oh, hey hun, how you feeling? Need some coffee? You should sit down. Why are you here on your day off? Go home! Now. I mean it, listen to me you should be at home, watching old movies and eating ice cream and-" Lorelai cut her off "Sookie, it's alright. I just can't sit there by myself, with nothing to do anymore. I've watched every old movie I can think of and I'm pretty sure that I've bought every gallon, pint and spoonful of ice cream from Doose's and Taylor will murder me if I step foot into the frozen food section in the next millennia."

"So did you tell him then?"

"Of course I did. Then I went over to Patty's and told all of the little 7 year olds that Santa isn't real and the tooth fairy is their mother." she answered.

"Aw hunny. You've got to tell him eventually. The sooner the better. You know that." Sookie attempted to reassure her as she handed Lorelai a cup of coffee.

"I know. I know. And I will. Just there's this part of me that's thinking that it isn't such a good idea. I mean I'm already very close to the inn and it's not like Rory is a million miles away. I don't really have to move. The house is fine and Rory grew up there."

"It was your idea to leave. If you don't want to, then don't. You haven't signed anything yet, you don't have to move."

"But I should. He's just there, everywhere. I mean, he's not there, there. But everywhere I go, all I see is him. And it's not going to help anything. I'm turning into a crazy woman…a crazy woman. I started crying today when I read the paper because it had the movies that the Black, White, and Red theater was showing because he and I went there once. It's hard this time and I'm not good with the being hurt thing." Lorelai tried to explain all of this to Sookie, but she didn't think that she'd understand. "I'll be alright. I just need to talk to him. Let him know. It'll be okay." Sookie looked at her as if to say _I know that you'll be okay eventually, but it'd be nice to have the old Lorelai back now._ "I will be fine Sook. Go back to work. I'll talk to him."

With that, Lorelai turned and walked out of the kitchen sipping her coffee as she did. _Yeah,_ she though, _I'll be alright. I'll be just fine, that is after Rory turns into some crack whore and drops out of school._


	2. Sometimes, I Wish I Could Hate You

**Chapter 2: Sometimes, I wish I could hate you**

Rory sat in her dorm staring at a book whose words now looked indistinguishable. After nearly four hours of studying, she couldn't read anymore unless she wanted her brain to completely liquefy. _This is stupid,_ she though to herself, casting the book aside.

"Paris," she wined at her room mate who was sitting across from her, "I think I'm going to go back home and check on my mom."

"You do realize how severely warped you are right? You've got a midterm at 8 a.m. tomorrow and you're going to go home now when you could be studying. It's sad. Do you not have any standards anymore? God Gilmore, get it together." Paris said in her usual school-above-all-else tone, only slightly more crazed. She had been sitting at her desk for the past 20 minutes contemplating the perfect lead for her story about the latest religious scandal.

"Right. Just so long as you know that Doyle isn't expecting your article for another 24 hours and it'd be real good if you ate in that time seeing as you're starting to do this crazy twitch thing that's pretty creepy."

"Go, Rory. Your presence is distracting me."

"I am. I'll have my cell phone on, so if you need me, don't call." Rory stated as she walked into the lobby and out the front door.

When she finally got to the house, her mother's car was nowhere to be seen. She picked up her cell phone from the passenger seat and dialed Lorelai's cell.

"Hello?" came Lorelai's still devastated voice over the phone.

"Hey mom, where are you?" Rory questioned her mother.

"Oh, hey hun. I'm at the inn. I was just about to leave. Why? You a cop?"

"Oh yeah, you have the right to remain silent and all that stuff. I'm at the house, I wanted to come see you." Rory responded, sarcastically.

"Man, you suck at being a cop."

"Haha, funny. When will you be back or do you want me to meet you there?"

"I'll be home soon. I'm leaving now." Lorelai responded.

"Alright. I'll see you when you get here. I'll probably be in my room. My brain is in serious meltdown mode so I'm thinking a nap would be real nice right about now." Rory responded, knowing full well that a nap was the last thing that was going to happen.

"Okay, well I'll be there shortly. I'll see you later and I expect to see your badge and talk to your captain. Love ya hun, bye." Lorelai said as she hung up the phone.

"Right… Mom? You have issues. Love ya. Bye."

_20 minutes. Coffee sounds really good and I'm sure mom would want some so long as she doesn't have to go to pick it up. I can be back in 20 minutes. _Rory thought as she started her car back up and headed to Luke's. After all, why would Lorelai protest? She wanted coffee directly injected into her veins most days.

Rory pulled up in front of Luke's and after considering her options for a while, turned the car off, went inside and made her way to the counter. She was deterred by Kirk.

"Oh… Hey Kirk." she said as politely as she could muster.

"Rory, I want you to give my mom my deepest sympathies. If she wants I could arrange to have her a schedule drawn up in which she'd never have to see the idiot over there. I could also come by and make sure she's taken care of. I'm very good at that. Mother loves it when I take care of her. Of course she's usually sick and claiming that she's on her deathbed whenever I come over. But Lulu says I'm great at it too and -"

"Kirk! I'm sure you're great at taking care of people, and I'm positive that it would be an absolutely beautiful schedule, but I'm not just sure that she wants all of that trouble. She'll be okay." Rory attempted to convince him as she had been since the town heard about Luke and Lorelai's split.

"Okay, well just let her know I offered and that I'm on her side."

"Her side huh?" Rory said.

"Yep, of course." Kirk replied, almost offensively.

"Then explain that blue ribbon you have on under your coat. By the way, take that ridiculous ribbon off and throw it away. They're pointless and neither of them want the town playing favorites. Bye Kirk."

"Oh…sorry. Will do. See ya Rory." Kirk stammered as he walked briskly out the door. Rory walked up to the counter shaking her head and going through her purse to find her wallet.

"Hey Rory. How ya doin'?" Luke said sheepishly as he dried his hands on an old rag.

"I'm alright. You?" she questioned, already knowing the answer judging by his warn down look. His eyes were dark, clothes disheveled and he looked as if he hadn't slept in weeks. He was lonely and she could see it in his eyes. He missed Lorelai, the entire town already knew that. It had been nearly two months and she had yet to even show up in the diner.

"Getting there. Can I get you some coffee?" he offered.

"Of course. Two coffees to go please." she said, not thinking as clearly as she'd hoped she would.

"Oh. Yeah. Two…to go. Got it." Luke stumbled over the words, knowing that the two meant she was getting Lorelai some as well as herself, and to go meant that yet again, Lorelai would not be coming in.

"Luke, I know you miss her. She misses you too."

Luke just turned around and went to work on the coffee.

"It'll take a minute, I have to make another pot. If you want anything else, just let Caesar know. I've got to go….do…something." he said, trying to find an excuse, any excuse, to not be there just then and to avoid the topic that was still so close to his heart and still so tender.

"Alright. I guess I'll see you later then. Bye Luke."

She left some money on the counter. She had never paid for coffee before because Luke had never let her. After all, he was best friends with her mother, but now that things were so entirely different, she didn't know the rules anymore and was deathly afraid to ask.

She walked to her car, opened the door and got in. She drove back to the house, one coffee in one hand and the other setting comfortably in the cup holder next to her. She arrived at the house a few minutes later, got the coffee and went inside. As she walked in, she heard the answering machine going off. She heard Lorelai's voice over the machine saying "Hey, I'm probably screening my calls, avoiding someone I don't like, so leave one and if I don't call back, it's probably you. Have a nice day!" followed by a high pitched beep that she was so accustomed to.

"Hey Lorelai." Luke's voice now came out of the speakers "I guess I just wanted to check up on you…talk to you…see how you are. I uhm…yeah. I wanted to…nevermind. I lo…" he sighed "Bye."

_Oh my God_, she thought to herself, now knowing if she should leave the message for her mother to hear or delete it before she did hear it. _She hears it and goes into a catatonic state, knowing that he called and reminding her that he's not hers anymore. Or she doesn't hear it because I delete it and she inevitably sees or talks to him where he will, of course, ask why she didn't return his message and she goes all Wang Chung on me. Gah! _

Rory opted for dealing with a catatonic Lorelai. Catatonic she could comfort, intense anger directed at herself, not so much. She walked into the kitchen and set Lorelai's coffee down on the table and began sipping hers as she walked into her old room. She grabbed one of the books that she had left there for just such an occasion and began reading.


	3. A Time for Love, a Time for Hate, a Time...

**Chapter 3: A Time for Love, a Time for Hate, a Time for Pizza**

Luke walked up the stairs to his apartment after Rory left. He knew what she had said was true, and that fact gutted him. How had he done this to them? Himself and Lorelai. He knew he wanted to be with her, he knew he missed her, and he knew that he had given up the love of his life after she had spent so much time apologizing, admitting that she had screwed up, something she wasn't very accustomed to doing. Now it was him who was sitting alone in his apartment wishing, for the first time, that someone, anyone, even Taylor was in there with him.

_Just call her_ he thought, _it's not that hard. Pick up phone, dial number, talk. Idiot. You've done it a million times but you can't do it now. You're too scared. Asshole._ _No. I'm going to call her. Now._

He called her. The phone rang and kept ringing until he finally heard her voice. He smiled for the first time in almost two months as he held that sound in his head. It was the answering machine. _Dumbass, answering machine, not real. Sentimental whatzum frutzum._ He heard her voice…

"Hey, I'm probably screening my calls, avoiding someone I don't like, so leave one and if I don't call back, it's probably you. Have a nice day!" Lorelai's automated message came over the phone. It was the same message she'd had for a long time now. Odd for Lorelai as she usually changes it to another sarcastic phrase every week or so. He knew that when it was created it wasn't meant for him, but somehow, now it felt as though her words were there as a weapon against him. That the person she was avoiding right then was him. He could see her in his mind, sitting on her couch eating caramel popcorn, glaring at the machine and throwing her food at it as she cursed his name under her breath. Then the beep came. _Speak you fool, it's not that hard!_

**He left some garbled message that more than likely wouldn't make sense to anything with ears. But at least he'd done it. He'd called her. Rory said she missed him and that she knew he missed her. And she was right. That girl had never been more right in anything she had ever said. He missed Lorelai more than anything right then. **

He went to his fridge and grabbed a beer. It was the middle of the day but he didn't care. A cold beer and a nap might do him good. Granted he knew what would make him feel better, but getting her back at this point seemed out of the question. Why would she want him back? With the things that he'd said and the way that he'd treated her. He finished his drink and nodded off to sleep. He didn't want to think anymore and this way, he wouldn't have to.

Lorelai walked through the diner, past the customers who looked at her with looks of awe on their faces. Some began whispering as they looked at her. Others just dropped their jaws and some didn't seem to notice that she was there. She knew this charade so well. She was supposed to look over the counter and see him, backwards blue baseball cap, flannel shirt, coffee in hand, smile on his face, unshaven yet sexy look on his face. But he wasn't there. She walked past Caesar who just continued humming _La Vida Loca_ to himself as he finished up the three egg, cheese, and ham omelet he'd been working on.

She stepped slowly up the stairs, one by one as if each step was a mountain that she had to climb to get to where she needed and wanted to be. She stood outside the door, staring in for a long while before she got up the nerve to grab the handle. She couldn't quite see past the fogged glass and she was happier for it. She imagined what could be behind it. Luke might be in there, arms wrapped around some hussy that she didn't want to name. He could be sitting by himself watching baseball, or worse, he might not even be there at all. All of these thoughts clouded her mind and scared her to no end, but she had to be there right now. This wasn't something that she wanted to tell him over the phone or in a letter. She needed to see him face to face. And if that meant letting him see her cry again, she'd do it. She just needed to see him.

She turned the doorknob and pushed gently on the door not knowing what to expect. She turned to see a sleeping Luke in a chair that he'd fallen asleep in so many times. But this time was different. This time she couldn't walk up to him and wake him with a kiss. She couldn't curl up in his lap and fall asleep with him like she so desperately wanted to at this point. Instead, she walked over to him and looked at him for a minute before turning around and making for the door again. She grabbed the door knob again, this time in an effort to exit, but stopped just before she stepped out of the apartment.

"Don't leave." Luke mumbled, still half asleep. She couldn't tell whether he was dreaming and just talking through it or if he was waking up, and knew she was there.

"Luke?" she whispered.

"Don't leave" he said again. "I'm awake." he said, in a most unconvincing tone.

"Go back to sleep. It's…not important." she said choking on her words.

He stood up slowly, rubbing his face with his hands and stretching the way he did when he'd just woken up. She missed watching that every morning. His daily routine.

"I just…wanted to. I don't know, see you I guess. Talk." she said, followed by a long and awkward pause. "I should go. I really shouldn't have come, it was stupid. I'm sorry." she apologized as she started out the door again, panicking.

"No, wait. It's alright that you're here. Say what you came to say."

"I really should go though. Rory's waiting for me at home and she doesn't know that I came here. She'll get all panicked and I'm thinking that not even a subscription to the New York Times and the Wall Street Journal would get me out of it."

"Oh. Well…I guess…We'll talk later then. Rory stopped by earlier…got some coffee. Two…to go. Always to go now." Luke said, sadly.

"Yeah. Bye." Lorelai said, not wanting to leave. She grabbed the door knob, again, but stopped before she shut the door completely behind her. She came back in.

"Things are weird between us and I don't like it. I came here to tell you something that I suddenly find myself incapable of saying mostly because I'm scared of what you'd say and because, at this moment, my mind is a complete blank and all I know is that I miss you entirely too much and it's not good for me. I have to leave. But before I go I just….I know I shouldn't be here and I know that I screwed up immensely but I just had to ask you…had to, I don't know, just…know. Do you…I mean did you…ever love me?" she said faster than she had ever spoken before, even on a crazed coffee high.

Luke didn't say anything. Just stood there, looking at her in amazement as if to say that she was insane, that she was an idiot.

"Oh. Okay. I get it. I'll just…go then." she said as she turned again to leave. She walked out the door and shut it behind her, beginning to cry. He could hear her running down the stairs, heard her muffled sobs that he wanted so badly to console. If he didn't already feel foolish, he did now.

"Yes" he said to himself "….to both."


	4. The One With the Thing and That One Guy

**Chapter 4: The one with the thing and that one guy**

Lorelai began walking home. She knew she had driven, but driving just wasn't a good idea at this point. Besides, walking seemed to calm her down during most emotional breakdowns. But this time, it didn't seem to be working. She knew what had happened, what she'd said and what he didn't say. She just didn't want to believe it right then.

She opened the front door to her house, after attempting to wipe the tears from her face. Her mascara had run and she knew that. She was all too aware of that fact and also, that no amount of hand wiping was going to help. Rory wasn't an idiot, she was an intuitive girl. She'd never be able to convince Rory that she hadn't been crying, that she wasn't upset, and that nothing was wrong.

"Rory? You here?" Lorelai whispered, secretly hoping that becoming fed up with her own tardiness, her daughter had left.

There was no answer. She peaked around the corner into her daughter's room. There she was, curled up in her bed with an open book still in front of her, sleeping. Lorelai quietly stepped in just far enough to grab a hold of the open door, and close it as she exited completely. If Rory was asleep, off in dream land where she was undoubtedly uncovering a big story, she didn't want to wake her up simply because she couldn't deal with her own problems at that moment.

Lorelai stepped out onto the back porch and grabbed some boxes that she'd been avoiding for the past three weeks. She knew what she had to do now. No turning back, no ignoring the issue anymore. She stumbled around the kitchen searching for a permanent marker and some tape. She found the marker with ease. The tape was more trouble than she thought it would be worth. Somehow, she knew that that would be where she found it. She'd never used packing tape before other than when she moved from the inn, into this house. She was absolutely certain that she had none. But there sat Bert in the kitchen, on the floor under the table and she broke down again.

She opened the old, rusty green toolbox and saw the packing tape she'd been searching for lying on top of every tool, nail, and scrap of sandpaper in the box. Grabbing the tape and closing the box as quickly as she could, she took her supplies upstairs to her room and began packing. First the cleaning supplies. She wouldn't be using them tomorrow and she'd need to spruce up the apartment that she'd been seriously looking at. Then the towels, careful to leave two for the morning for both her and her daughter. She packed up most of the bathroom, aware that she'd still need some things the following day. Once she finished in there, she moved on to the bedroom.

She set out the outfit she'd wear. A relaxed pair of black, pinstripe slacks and a top to go with it…black with a white tank top beneath. She packed her clothes, her socks, her pants, her shirts, until it came to her pajamas. Mixed in with the jumbled up pajama pants and comfy tees lay the nightshirt she'd been wearing when she was still with Luke. One of his long flannel shirts that kept her so warm at night. She'd known it was there, had seen it multiple times but this time it just stung so much more. She picked it up, staring at it for a moment just holding it in her hands, pulled it to her chest, and took one last breath of it. The smell of him was gone from it, but her mind put it back there as if it were one last reminder. She closed her eyes.

"Goodbye, Luke." she said to herself in a hushed and painful tone as she tossed the shirt on her bed and continued packing her belongings.

By the time she had finished, all that was left in the room was a solitary picture of Rory sitting on the nightstand, her sheets, covers and pillows to her bed, what she'd wear the next day, and her toiletries that would be vital in the next 24 hours. She labeled each box, sealed it shut and when she had every box labeled and closed, she brought them all downstairs, two by two. She had begun loading them into her jeep when Rory woke up.

"Mom, what are you doing?" Rory asked.

"I'm packing. I was going to have to do it eventually. Now just seemed like the right time. I know it won't all fit in the car but I'll call a Uhaul guy and have them send one over so I can finish up and be out by breakfast time."

"Do you want me to see if I can borrow his truck? Less expensive, more time effective." Rory offered.

"No. I don't want him to have anything to do with his. I don't need his help anymore. I don't even…" Lorelai trailed off.

"Don't even what, Mom?"

"I don't even know if I want him to know." she said as she turned back to look at her daughter, tears in her eyes, jaw clamped shut.

"I could go tell him so you don't have to."

"No, Rory." Lorelai protested.

"I can go over there right now. Tell him you're leaving in the morning. Give him a warning." Rory persisted.

"Rory, no."

"You need to tell him before you go. Someone does, this is insane!" Rory said.

"Rory, it's not insane. I went over there, I talked to him, he said nothing! He didn't say word one. I flat out gave him a chance and he said nothing! He's not interested, he's not going to come back and he sure as hell isn't going to let me come back to him. He does not need to know." Lorelai said very forcefully, almost in a yell.

"Fine." Rory gave up. "Can I help?"

"Yeah. Thanks kid. There're some boxes on the back porch. Umm. Just start…packing up the kitchen. Leave a pop tart for the morning, other than that it can all go." Lorelai offered through sniffles.

Rory walked up to her mother and hugged her.

"I'll go start in the kitchen."

Lorelai went back to work, fitting as many boxes in the Jeep as she could which didn't turn out to be many. _I really need a bigger car _she thought to herself.


	5. It's Always Easier After Midnight

**Chapter 5: It's always easier after midnight**

Luke woke up. He turned to look at the clock that was setting on the table next to him. _1:13 in the morning, God why am I awake?_ he thought, angry that he hadn't been able to get a decent nights sleep. He'd been walking up every half hour or so, each time unable to get back to bed.

He had grown accustomed to the TV being on, to Lorelai lying next to him, and her indistinguishable mumblings as she slept. Now, all of those things were gone, never to return. And it was his own doing. He knew that.

Luke had never told Lorelai that he loved her. He had a feeling that she knew he did, but he'd never said it. She had given him the perfect opportunity to tell her today, but the words were just too late. He'd watched her run down the stairs, and only said he loved her after she was out the door and out of hearing distance. He knew that she had cried and that he could stop her tears, but he didn't do it. No matter how badly he had wanted to, it wasn't his place anymore. He wanted his place back.

He sat up in bed, combing through his hair with his fingers, remembering how she used to play with his hair in the middle of the night. It had calmed him then. This time, he was doing it out of his own frustrations.

Incapable of falling back asleep, not for lack of trying, but for lack of the will power to stay that way, he got up and went down into the diner. It was empty, dark, isolated. Like he had forced himself to become lately. He knew he was going to feel this way from the moment those words escaped his lips…the words that ended everything. He could still remember them as if he were still saying them…_I cant be in this relationship, it's too much._ He felt like such an idiot for those words now.

He sat down at the table, her table, the one she'd sat at every day, for the most part, since they'd met. Now, he feared, he'd never see her there again. He didn't want that. _How can I not see her every day? I don't want that. _He jolted up from the chair he was in, walked over to where his coat and keys hung, grabbed them and walked out the front door.

Luke sat in his truck, thinking what he'd say and practicing his speech out loud.

"Lorelai, I changed my mind. No that sounds too…oafish, okay. Lorelai, I love you. I'm sorry. No, don't open with that. Lorelai, I'm a stupid, stupid man. No, she already knows that…I'm sorry. Yeah. That'll work." He started the engine to his truck and was off.

When he pulled up into her driveway, he saw something that he'd never expected to see, something that he wished he hadn't seen.

_This can not be right _he thought to himself. There was a truck pulled up next to the front steps. It wasn't just a truck. That he could've dealt with. This was a truck with a purpose. A moving truck. It didn't matter what kind or how big, but it was for moving. That he was sure of.

Rory came out the front door. She spotted him before she made it into the cab of the truck and stopped. Her face panicked, she tucked her hair behind her ear, looked down and then behind her.

"What's with the stoppage? Did you…" Lorelai began and stopped when she turned to see Luke's truck in her driveway, Luke at the drivers seat with a look of desperation on his face.

"Luke." she whispered.

He couldn't watch this. He stared at her for a few seconds in awe, utter disbelief. His mouth open and eyes welling up. Luke wasn't a man who cried. He wasn't going to now, but this was the closest he'd come to crying since his dad had died.

He dropped his head, unable to look at the scene laid out before him for any longer, started the truck and threw it in reverse. He started to back out of the driveway when Lorelai ran to the window, her own tears forming in the corners of her eyes.

"No…wait…Luke." she said just as desperately as he felt.

"Don't go, we can talk. I know I should've told you. I just couldn't." she said.

He put the truck back in park, looking at his hands in his lap now.

"How could you not tell me, Lorelai? You're leaving…you're…just leaving." he said in an almost whispered tone.

"I know. But I wasn't sure that I was going to until…I don't want to discuss this like this. Come inside, sit down. Talk to me. Please?" she was begging now. She'd kept control of the tears and held them in. Now she was just in a state of panic.

He contemplated it for a minute, turned to look at her and said "Okay." He turned the truck off and she opened the car door for him. He stepped out, feeling as if the ground would give way at any moment, as it already had in every other part of his life.

They went inside and sat on the couch in the living room. He faced forward and she sat at the opposite end, facing him, one leg on the floor, one bent over the cushion.

"I should've told you earlier. But I wasn't sure I was going to leave until today. After I left the diner and everything…fell apart I guess." she admitted to him, hesitantly.

"Don't." he said.

"Don't what?" Lorelai replied, confused.

"Don't go." Luke pleaded.

"I don't want to."

"So don't. Don't leave." he said again, insistently.

"Why not?" she whispered.

He looked up at her, a determined look on her face, trying to figure out exactly how to say what he wanted her to hear.

"Because…I miss you being in my arms. You're not there anymore and I can live with that." He said, followed by a short pause. "But I can't live without you in my heart. I've tried and it doesn't work, mostly because I don't want it to. I can't not have you there. And if you leave, you won't be able to be there anymore and…and I won't even have the hope of seeing you in the morning and at night. I need you here…I want you here…And I lied in the apartment today." he admitted.

"What do you mean you lied?" she said, breathing as if she hadn't been since he started talking.

"I lied. When I didn't say anything while you were here, I lied. You left, and I said yes. I said yes, and you didn't hear it because I was lying to you by not saying anything." he told her.

"Wait…you said yes after I left and that was the lie? You said yes when I asked if you had loved me…and it was a lie?" she said confused but hopeful.

"No. I lied because I didn't tell you that I loved you" he said, staring down at his knees…"That I do love you."


	6. One Santa Burger, To Go

**Chapter 6: One Santa Burger, To Go**

Lorelai stared at him for a few seconds. _Did he really just say it? That he loves me? _she thought to herself. _Say something_.

"I love you, too." she finally said after forcing her voice to become audible once more. They sat there in silence for a while, her staring at him, studying his right ear as he looked intently at his hands which were now clasped together, his arms on his legs as he bent forward. His gaze turned slightly upwards.

"Where did your TV go?" he said, clamoring for a break in the silence.

"Upstairs." she answered, taken aback by the random change of topic.

"Reason?"

"Rory had Frank bring it up there a while ago. Right after…it's just upstairs." she answered, not wanting to elaborate much more than that or draw any attention to the fact that they were broken up.

Luke stood up in one swift movement. Lorelai sat there, no movement whatsoever, not even a flinch. She sat, now starring at the coffee table and the _People_ magazine that was on it. The headline read "Brad and Jen call it quits." Somehow, this didn't seem to bode well considering her current situation.

"What happens now, Luke?" she asked, inquisitively.

He stood there in silence…

"Say something." she pleaded just under her breath.

"I don't know. I don't know what happens next. I have no answers. You seem to have found one though. Without even telling me." he said, sounding very hurt and very angry.

"You mean leaving?"

"No, watching TV in the comfort of your own bedroom wallowing with Ben and Jerry. Yeah I mean leaving." Luke replied with a particularly nasty brand of sarcasm she hadn't heard in a while.

"What else was I supposed to do, Luke? I'd sit in this room and all I did was think about you and remember all of the things that happened between us in here. I'd walk around town and all I'd see were places that reminded me of you, not to mention people giving me the patented 'I'm so sorry this happened' look which just made me feel worse. All I knew was that you were gone, that you wanted nothing to do with me and I'd blown it. You certainly weren't about to start up a conversation with me and all I could think about was the fact that I'd lost my best friend and the only man I'd ever fallen head over heals in love with in one fell swoop. So you tell me, Luke, you tell me what else I could've done?" she rambled.

"You could have talked to me! You could have told me you were going to leave, you could have told me when you started _thinking_ about leaving but you didn't! You ran! You ran like you always do whenever things get too rough for you to handle on your own." he yelled.

"You're right, I ran, I'm weak, and I run. It's what I do, like you said. So why are you surprised huh? You know me _sooo_ well and you care about me _so_ much, what else did you expect?" she yelled right back.

"I don't know! Maybe I expected more than you getting scared! Maybe I thought, Hey, she's with me now, which we both apparently wanted, maybe she's grown up some and won't spaz out and run, but no, it appears I was wrong about that one!" he accused.

"You know what? You were the one who wanted out to begin with. You're the one who decided that this was all just too much and you didn't want to deal with it anymore and _you_ ran, Luke, _you_ ran first."

"Oh so we're doing the whole you-did-so-that-means-I-can-now thing huh? Nice. Real grown up, Lorelai." Luke said.

"You know what I think? You got what you wanted. We were together, which you had said you had wanted for such a long time, and you got scared. You got scared because there was no challenge in it for you anymore, there was nothing you had to work for so you ran. There wasn't anything you had to do. You had me-"

"I didn't have you, if I had had you, you wouldn't be doing this. You wouldn't have given up so easily!" Luke shouted.

"Me given up so easily? _ME?_ Are you insane? You gave up on us long before I even had the chance to. I _still _haven't given up on us. You sit here, say you love me and then say that I'm scared? I'm the one who showed up at your apartment today, you're the one who couldn't say anything when I flat out asked you how you felt. So before you start accusing me of giving up, look at what happened those last days. Take a good hard look at who was giving up on who." Lorelai screamed.

"Okay. So I gave up, you sure as hell didn't make an effort to fix anything." he conceded.

"And you did?"

"This is pointless! There is absolutely nothing that is going to be resolved here."

"Thanks for stating the obvious, Captain Stubbing." she said.

"I can't deal with this right now." Luke said, shaking as he headed for the door.

"Yeah. You can't deal so you're leaving, again. And I'm the one who runs right?" Lorelai said, her voice quavering out of shear anger.

"You know, Lorelai, I actually thought that maybe, MAYBE, if I came over tonight, we could patch things up and start over. Go back to where we were two months ago. But it ended up like this. Us fighting, at each others throats, the way it always ends up."

"Yeah? Well this isn't exactly how I had tonight playing out in my head either, Luke, but it happened."

"So now I'm standing here, making a fool out of myself, actually wondering what it is that _you_ want _me_ to do. After everything we've just said I'm thinking to myself 'should I stay or should I go?'"

"That's up to you. I'm going upstairs. If you stay, do whatever the hell you want. If you leave, lock the door, I know how worried you get whenever it's left open." Lorelai quipped, sarcastically as she headed up the stairs to her bedroom.

_Idiot._ Luke thought to himself as he combed his hand through his hair, still debating on what he'd do. _Go up there. No. Don't. She's too angry, you're too angry, you're just going to upset the both of you even more than you already are._

_"So this is it." Lorelai said to herself, looking in the mirror in the bathroom as she carried her weight on her hands which were on the sink now. _

She wiped her face with her hands, feeling the head that seemed to be pulsating from her face due to the overwhelming amount of anger she was experiencing. _Idiot _she thought.


	7. One Way, Or Another

**Chapter 7: One way, or another**

Luke paced in the living room. He would walk to the front door and just before he'd reach for the handle, he'd shake his head and walk towards the stairs to Lorelai's bedroom. He couldn't quite make it up the stairs. He knew she was up there, probably crying, and he knew that it would be because of him. That was something he didn't quite know how to handle. He'd seen her cry before, been the one to comfort her, dry her tears.

The first time was the night that she was "uninvited" from her parents Christmas party. She had gotten the call that her father was in the hospital and she stood in the diner, begging everyone else for the number for the taxi service in town. Her eyes welled up when he was going to get his keys in order to drive her to the hospital. He stopped her from crying, understood what she was going through. This time was different. This time he couldn't dry her tears because he was the one who forced her to cry them.

_You can do this, Danes._ he thought to himself. _You've been talking to her everyday for eight years, you can talk to her now. Come on._

Luke slowly began his ascent. He held the railing as if it were holding him up. When he reached the top of the stairs, he looked into Lorelai's bedroom but did not see her there. She wasn't sitting on the bed, she wasn't in the closet and there was nowhere else that she could be hiding in there.

He looked towards the bathroom and saw that the door was closed, but the light was shining out from under it. He walked towards it, debating on whether or not to knock and wait for an answer, or to just simply walk in. But he didn't have time to decide. As he walked closer, the door opened as Lorelai walked out, still sniffling.

**She seemed stunned when she looked up and saw him. She jumped the way she normally did when she was shocked. The silent Lorelai jump he was so used to. **

"What are you-" she began when he cut her off.

"Stop. I know that we've said some things these past few days that we haven't met. At least I have. When I came over here tonight, it wasn't to fight with you. When I saw you and Rory loading up that truck outside, I didn't intend on yelling at you. I wasn't mad. I wasn't…I wasn't even ticked. I was hurt. Hurt more than I had ever been before. I assumed that you were leaving and that you'd never even thought to tell me. That this was your way of saying that you were over it and didn't need me anymore. These past two months have been killing me. I sat in my empty diner hoping you'd come in for some coffee. I'd be there until close and you never showed up. I missed you. I'm standing right in front of you and I still miss you. I think it hurts more that you're right in front of me, standing close enough that all I have to do is reach out…and I know that I can't." Luke admitted.

"Luke, I'm sorry. You think it hasn't been killing me?" she whined.

He held up a hand to silence her.

"I know that you're hurt too. I even know that I did the hurting. But I guess…it's because I know that it was my decision to let you go that I'm hurting so much. I made a mistake. One that I know will probably haunt me forever but I just need you to know that I regret letting you think that I didn't want to be with you anymore. But I'd regret it even more if I let you leave right now without telling you that I love you. And….that's it." he said as he turned to leave.

Lorelai mumbled something through tight lips as she walked towards him with open arms. He heard her footsteps and turned in time for her to wrap her arms around his neck and hug him tighter than she ever had before. Taken aback, it took him a couple of seconds to put his arms around her and bring her closer to him. He breathed her in as he hadn't done in months that seemed like decades.

She closed her eyes and breathed him in as well as she allowed her tears to flow freely. They both let out sighs of relief as they held each other there.

"I love you" she whispered as she exhaled.

"I love you" he returned.

They let go of each other just enough to allow them to look into each others eyes.

"Hi." Lorelai said.

"We're passed that." Luke said as he leaned into her as he kissed her softly on the lips.

Lorelai deepened the kiss, pulling him closer to her with every second.

They didn't hear the soft footsteps coming up the steps.

"Umm..I guess you guys made up then." Rory said in an excited but hushed tone. Luke and Lorelai broke off the kiss and turned to face her. They both let out little chuckles that left Luke red in the face as he left the answering up to Lorelai.

"Nope. Just call us Hatfield and McCoy." she answered in the typical Lorelai manner.

"Right, Mom. I'm going to head back to Yale. Call me in the morning whenever you two wake up." Rory said.

"Rory!" Lorelai said, almost embarrassed.

"Oh geez." Luke said, turning an even brighter shade of red as he released Lorelai and walked into the bedroom to sit down.

"See, Mom! He's heading for the bedroom already! What's that I hear? Is that-could it be? It's Trojan man!" Rory said, laughing.

"Hey Rory, remember that thing you had to do? The one that means you'd better head out?" Lorelai was reaching.

"Hmm, nothing that I can recollect. Maybe you should be more specific."

"Goodnight Rory." Lorelai said as she kissed her on the cheek.

"Goodnight Mom." she said as she walked down the stairs.

"Put a helmet on that soldier!" she called, laughing now as she picked her keys up off of the table by the front door.


	8. And He Said, Let There Be Pancakes

**Chapter 8: And He Said, Let There Be Pancakes**

Rory got out of her car, still smiling to herself about what she had left at her home in Stars Hollow. She was unbelievably happy for both her mother and Luke but she couldn't deny how bittersweet it all was. On the one hand, her mom would be happy again as she had reclaimed love. On the other, Rory herself was still hanging on to the hope that Logan would define their relationship.

She walked to her dorm and unlocked the door. Paris was already asleep in her room. Rory, attempting to be quiet as not to wake her, opened the door to her room and turned the light on. She tossed her keys on the dresser and took her coat off.

"Hey Ace." came Logan's familiar voice from Rory's bed. She jumped, as he rubbed his eyes and sat up.

"Tell me you weren't asleep in my bed waiting for me, Logan." she said with a smile.

"Of course not. Your bed is just so much comfier than mine is." he joked.

"How long have you been here?" Rory asked, as she sat on the bed next to him.

"That depends. What time is it?"

She glanced at her watch. "About 3:15, Saturday morning."

"Oh. Okay. Well, then I've been here about three and a half hours. Where'd you go?" he replied sleepily.

"I had to help my mom with some things. Then Luke showed up and I'm thinking that I really, really didn't want to be around when the walls started pounding and various other events that would've caused me to tell some future therapist that my mother mentally molested me as a child."

"Right. It's very possible that I'm not quite awake enough to process that right now. Rain-check?" Logan said.

"No, it's alright. It's probably best that you don't hear it." she said, smiling. Logan gave her a cockeyed look as he tilted his head the same way a dog would.

"Don't worry Logan, you really, really don't want to know."

"I'm going to trust you on that one. But for now, it's definitely bed time."

"You go to sleep. I'm going to go take a shower before I head to bed. I'll see you in the morning?" she inquired.

"Or you know, I could just stay here and I could stay awake until you get out of the shower…or I could just join you in the shower."

"Dirty. Go to sleep. You can stay here, I'll be back in just a few minutes."

"Tease." he said as he laid back down and closed his eyes.

Rory stepped out of the shower and walked into her room wrapped in merely a towel. She headed for her dresser and pulled out a blue, plaid pair of pajama pants along with a white tank top.

"Nice, Ace. Have anything in the lacy lingerie department?"

"Hey, you're supposed to be asleep. And no. But if you're a good boy, maybe you'll get something pretty for your birthday."

"Ooo promise, Mommy?" Logan said.

Rory looked at him in silence.

"Okay, Mommy line, a little too far, yes?" Logan said, in a defeated tone.

"Uh yeah. 'Cause ick."

"Alright, I'm going to sleep now. In the morning, we'll have pancakes okay?"

"That's the best plan." Rory said as she changed into her pajamas and slipped into bed alongside him, watching him fall asleep.

"Hey Logan?"

"Mm?" he mumbled.

"Goodnight."

"Mmmhmm." he said as he put one arm around her waist and pulled her closer to him and fell asleep. She lay there for a while, breathing him in and thinking about what they actually were to each other.

_This can't just be a casual thing. He was here, in my bed, waiting for me for over three hours. It obviously wasn't for sex, he could have just left and found any random girl he wanted. Maybe this is something more to him, I know it is to me. Stop it Rory, you think too much. Behold, the thing that thinks a lot. Attack of the killer brain! Wow, I'm tired. Sleepy time."_

She fell asleep with her head tucked into his shoulder, slowly breathing his scent in and basking in the fact that she didn't have to wake up for classes, and had an entire day to just lay there in his arms. But when they did wake up, she needed to talk to him. She wanted to know what was going on and what she was to him. She wanted something meaningful. She had said different, but she'd never been the casual type of girl and she didn't want to be now. But she didn't want to waste her time. Even if it did mean ending things with Logan.


	9. Some Plans Fail

Author's Note: Sorry it took so long. Wrote this over Spring Break as well as the 10th chapter but I just have to type them out and upload them. So the next chapter or so should be up by the end of the week. Please R&R!

**Chapter 9: Some Plans Fail**

Rory woke up to the incessant high pitched beeping of her alarm.

"Stop the noise." she said as she reached over and turned the alarm off.

"Evil alarm."

She turned to her side to notice that Logan was no longer there. As she threw the covers off the bed, she heard Paris talking in the lounge. Or rather, yelling.

"You are either really rude or you're completely oblivious to the fact that some humans do _not_ enjoy being woken up this early. You must be insane!" she was screaming.

"Paris, you're up, you're dressed, and you've been on your computer since 6 a.m. You can not really be telling me that you are one of those people." Logan said calmly.

"I've been writing an article Logan, something that you're not entirely familiar with."

"Oh come on, you mean to tell me that you don't have your story in? I mean, deadline is Monday, better get crackin'." Logan stated with more than a hint of sarcasm.

"Guys, really, it's Saturday at 9 in the morning. You're both crazy! Go back to bed, so I can too!" Rory complained half asleep as she walked into the room.

"Hey, Ace. I just went to get you some coffee and Homeland Security here went Defcon 1 on me." Logan walked over to her holding a Starbucks coffee out to her as he kissed her cheek.

"Thanks. Now can we all go back to bed now? I was just about to win Ben Stein's money and spend a week in Figi with Johnny Depp."

"In that case, no." Logan said, feigning hurt feelings.

"Rory, you don't seem to understand the situation here. I've got an article due in two days and I can't get a hold of Pastor Daniels from the Baptist church in Boston. Reverend Jesse Jackson and the Pope I can call right now but this guy's a regular Houdini." Paris insisted.

"Ever tried going to the church on a Sunday around 8 and catching him at work?" Rory said.

"No." Paris responded after a short pause.

"Now that you're light bulb is functioning properly, I'm going to go back to bed. And you two are going to do the same!" she said as she went back into her room.

Logan followed soon after.

"Hey, Ace, wanna go to a show tonight? It'll be fun. My treat."

"Logan?" Rory said with her best whiny tone.

"Yeah."

"SLEEP!" she said as she pulled him into bed next to her and closed her eyes.

"Well when you put it that way…" he interjected with a smile.

They laid there for a few minutes.

"Great, now I can't sleep." Rory said as she sat up.

Lorelai was still asleep. Luke had spent the night. He knew he had missed her more than he ever had before, but he didn't realize how much until now. He missed the smell of her hair when he slept, the touch of her skin at night, the way she held his arm around her at all times and most of all, the way she fit into him perfectly.

He sighed deeply and kissed her shoulder as he sat up.

"Good morning" he whispered in her ear.

"No, good sleep. Sleep good. More sleep."

"Shhh. It's okay. Go to sleep." he said. "I'm just going to make some coffee. I'll be up in a little bit." he finished as he kissed her cheek again. He swung his legs over the side of the bed and picked his pants up off of the floor and slid them on.

Luke walked down the stepped and into the kitchen. He began making Lorelai's coffee. He put ¼ of the coffee grounds in the filter and put water in the container.

"Hey. You're such a tease! That was mean." Lorelai said sleepily as she walked down the stairs.

She walked up to Luke and leaned into him, her head resting on his chest.

"I smell coffee." she said, perking up.

"I told you I'd make some."

"I know, but…coffee." she smiled at him.

_God I missed that _he thought to himself. He touched her arm and she turned again to face him.

He pulled her close to him and kissed her deeply. He slowly released her from the kiss and looked at her.

"Well hey, Mr. Coffee man, what was that for?"

"Just because I can." he said.

"Okay, we need to talk some. Get some things straight." she said.

"Alright. Talking. Let's talk."


	10. Silence is Silver

**Author's Note: Sorry this took so long. It's been written out, just not typed out or uploaded. I've started chapter 11 but it might be a couple of days. Please R+R!**

**Chapter 10; Silence is Silver**

Lorelai and Luke stood in the kitchen. As he leaned on the counter, she hopped up on to the counter opposite him and began to sip her coffee.

She was trying to sort through her thoughts, not entirely sure of what to say next.

_He knows that I'm sorry and that I know he knows I'm sorry. He knows I love him so how do I say what I have to tell him without repeating myself? Okay Lorelai, stop thinking and say something._

"I need this to work." she said, bluntly.

"Me too." was his response.

"Not just because I want it to or because you make my coffee," she said, gesturing to the mug in her hands, "which this, perfect by the way. But I need this to work because I can't lose you again."

"You're not going to, Lorelai. Not if I have a say in it which I presume I do."

"The last two months have killed me. I lost the man I've loved for longer than even I know, and my best friend. I can't do that again."

"Then it's agreed. No more break ups or going on breaks or anything with the word break in it." Luke said with a smile.

"Except coffee breaks."

"I come after coffee, nice." he said jokingly.

Lorelai smiled at him as she took another sip from her coffee mug. "No," she laughed after she swallowed, closing her eyes briefly to savor the taste. "You ran right with coffee a la Luke but not a la…anybody else."

"Nice to know. Thank you." Luke laughed.

"No problem." she replied as she hopped down off of the counter and took the last sip of coffee.

He walked up to her and put his arms around her waist.

"Now I talk." She nodded in acceptance.

"Everything I said in that hallway was true. It wasn't some desperate ramblings of a crazed man. Granted, I was desperate, crazed and rambling but I meant every word. I do love you, Lorelai."

She smiled. "I love you, too."

"That's settled. But there're some things that aren't."

"Such as?" Lorelai asked, puzzled.

"The moving truck in your front yard, for starters." Luke retorted.

"Oh, I forgot about that."

"Yeah, I thought you might've. How's this…I go return it, you start unpacking, I come back and we go to lunch. Sound good?" he suggested.

"Perfect…although we have more to discuss."

He looked at Lorelai blankly.

"Before, you said we had things that were still not settled. You named one. Where's the sssss?"

Luke placed one hand on her cheek and kissed her softly.

"Nothing more important than that. You get to unpacking, I'll get the truck unloaded and returned." He took his hand from her face and let go of her waist.

"That's doable. But after lunch I need to get to the Inn."

"Okay. I'm going to unpack upstairs, get to work you." She said as she set her mug on the counter.

"Yes ma'am."

"Say kiss." she said as she leaned forward.

"Kiss." he submitted as he grabbed her by the waist again and pulled her close to him, wrapping his arms around her and allowing their lips to meet in a fiery kiss. Her hands entwined themselves in his hair while his caressed her back as if he was exploring it for the first time.

They broke apart, breathing heavily.

"That's not the way to encourage me to get to work." she pointed out.

"Yeah? What is it then?" Luke smiled.

"It's a way to get me to ravage you and force you into bed."

"Oh really, I had no idea." he replied with sarcasm.

She smiled at him as she went in for a kiss, this time slow and passionate. She trailed a finger down his neck, followed by her lips, which ultimately ended up nibbling on his earlobe. His mouth opened in a barely audible gasp, he closed his eyes and let out a moan. Lorelai ran her hands down his sides, letting them linger at his hips. She took her opportunity to kiss him again, a short peck on the lips.

"Okay, work time." she said, perkily with a satisfied smile.

She turned and walked away. Luke watched in awe.

"Now that's just mean!" he shouted as he ran after her.

Turning around she let out a yip and began running upstairs to her room. He caught up quickly and tackled her to the bed.

"Mean." he whispered as he lay on top of her.

"Not me." she said as Luke leaned in and kissed her.

Lorelai woke up to the distinct sound of someone banging on the door. She had been trying to ignore it for the past 15 minutes, but whoever it was, was far too insistent. _As soon as I find out who that is, they're dead._ she thought to herself.

She got up, trying not to disturb Luke but failing miserably.

"Where are you going?" he asked as he sat up in bed, draping one arm on her back and gently massaging her neck.

"There's somebody at the door and I must kill them now. I'll be right back, I promise." she told him.

She slid out of bed and grabbed her robe from the chair in the corner of the room. She walked downstairs as she haphazardly tied the robe to her, muttering to herself.

"Stupid people, early in the morning, knocking, waking me up, grr argh."

She opened the door, surprised at who was standing at the door.

"Mom" she said, stunned.

"How dare you, Lorelai! After all that I did, how dare you not show up for our Friday night dinner!" Emily yelled.

"I really can't do this right now, Mom."

"Can't or won't Lorelai?"

"Both! Luke and I are back together because we wanted to, not because you did. It was us. Get over it, Mom!"

"After all that I've done for you, that's how you talk to me? This is outrageous, Lorelai! Absolutely unacceptable!" Emily screamed.

"The things you've done for me and for Rory will not be forgotten. We both thank you for that, but this is my life, mine. My relationship. Luke and I will make the decisions, not you!" Lorelai said as calmly as possible.

Luke was coming down the stairs.

"Lorelai, who…oh." he said, pausing on the steps.

"Well you spoiled selfish brat!" Emily hollered.

"Spoiled? Mom, how can I be spoiled? There's no one to spoil me! Or is it possible, you've forgotten the last 20 years that I've been fending for my daughter and I, alone?"

"You're no more than a small child throwing a tantrum at a supermarket."

"Oh my God, a child? Nice. What a low blow." Lorelai retorted, facetiously.

"It's the truth."

"I'm sorry, did you miss the sarcasm?"

"This is ridiculous, Lorelai. All you're doing is fighting me on this because I proved you wrong and you can't stand that."

"No, I'm fighting you on this because you're pissing me off by constantly interfering in my life. I love Luke, and you hate him for that. So you get yourself imbedded in it or at least tried to and this time it got to me, this time it nearly destroyed me so I'm telling you to shut up and get the hell out of my house!" Lorelai said.

Emily turned and left, a beaten down expression on her face. Lorelai sneered at her as she left and slammed the door behind her mother. She turned around and leaned on the inside of the door.

"I have to get out of here." she said through breaths.

"Want me to come with you?" Luke asked as he came down the steps and placed his hand on her shoulder.

"Not this time. I'll see you tomorrow. I'm sorry about…that." she said.

"Don't be. It's not your fault."

Lorelai went upstairs and changed into her day clothes. She stood in front of Luke before she left.

"I love you." she said as she stared into his eyes, tears flowing freely now.

"I love you too. Be careful. I'll see you soon." Luke said as he hugged her and kissed her goodbye.


	11. Let me take you right now, swallow you d...

**Author's Note: Sorry it's been so long between updates, guys. My friend died a couple of weeks ago and I've been planning for my sister's wedding, getting ready for finals, concentrating on classes and dealing with some other stuff. Hopefully this will be updated more frequently over the summer. Sorry again. R&R please!**

**Chapter 11: Let me take you right now, swallow you down**

Lorelai stood on that bridge. The only sound that she could hear was the water running beneath the sturdy wooden planks. She traced the letters carved into the wooden beams as she relived the argument that she had just had with her mother. She remembered some things. Telling her mother to stay out of her life was the most prevalent at the time.

Her mind kept going back to Luke. How he was just standing there, listening to everything that was being said, and hopefully thinking nothing of it. She had left before they had even had the chance to talk about it. She had wanted to be alone and she left. She came here. To a place that held so many memories for the people around her.

She looked back down at the wooden railing, trying to get her mind off of things. She read the words that she had been tracing with her fingers. "Elizabeth & Andrew love." Lorelai smiled briefly. It was the first time she had allowed herself to do so since she left her house, had left Luke standing there in his robe behind the front door.

Luke. She suddenly got a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach. Would he be mad that she left? _ No. Of course not. He couldn't be. He didn't act mad, just concerned. Worried. And why wouldn't he be? I'm pretty sure that my mother has upset me before, but never to the point that I couldn't even talk to him about it _she said to herself.

_She went back to reading the inscriptions on the bridge. "Marie 3 James '79" followed by "Jimmy & Vickie Always" and "Nikki & Ryan 61'" Such young loves. She couldn't help but wonder where these people were now. Did Marie still 3 James? Did Jimmy and Vickie buy a house in the Hamptons and have a dozen kids? Was Ryan a fortune five-hundred man and did Nikki stand by his side at meetings? There were so many possibilities. Were they even together anymore? It didn't matter if they were together now. In the beams, they were. They always would be. The day they carved their names into that railing, their love became permanent. No matter what happened throughout time, those people would always be together. The wood would weather rain and sleet, hail and snow, heat and cold and so would they. _

Lorelai stood upright and turned to leave. She walked quickly now, determined footsteps leading her in one direction.

She walked through the town, past Doose's market and the gazebo in the square. She stepped into Luke's as she had on so many other occasions. Cesar was behind the counter wiping it down, Lane was taking Kirk's order at the bar, but there was no sign of Luke. Lorelai gave a hesitant wave at Lane and smiled at her. Lane held up a finger to say that she'd be there to talk to her in a minute.

"Kirk, we're not going to purposely burn food for you." Lane insisted.

"Technically it's not burnt if I'm asking for you to bring it to me that way. It's well done. Come on Lane, just this once?"

"No, Kirk! You said that last night and I gave in, you have no more 'just this once-s' left!"

"You're not getting a tip, Lane!" Kirk shouted as Lane walked towards Lorelai.

"It's not like you pay for anything anyway." Lane said, brushing him away as she walked over to where Lorelai was now sitting at the bar.

"Hey Lorelai. Can I get you some coffee?"

"Of course, my dear, dear child." she answered.

"Here you go. Donut? Danish?" Lane offered.

"Was that an either-or question? Because that would just be mean." Lorelai said, jokingly.

Lane wrapped up a chocolate covered donut and a Danish and placed them both in a to-go bag.

"Hey, Lane? Luke wouldn't happen to be here, would he?"

"Yeah. He came in about 15 minutes ago and headed upstairs. He looked kinda down. Do you want your coffee to go so you can go up there and see him?"

"Yeah. Thanks." she said with a smile.

Lane handed her a large cup of coffee and she headed upstairs. The door was closed but Luke was obviously there. She debated whether or not to knock and decided to do so.

Luke came to the door and as soon as he saw that it was her, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into an all encompassing hug.

"Hey, I can go for that kind of 'hi' any day." she said as he released her.

"Are you alright? After a couple of hours I figured I should come back here and help out. I left you a note. Did you get it? Are you okay? Do you want to talk? Because I could definitely tell Cesar I'd be down later on tonight to help out and to hold the fort for a while." Luke said, faster than she'd heard him talk in the past.

"Settle down, turbo talk man. I'm okay. A little shaky but I'm alright now. I just had to think for a while. I'm better now. Not 100 but I'd give myself a good 80 or 85. I just feel bad about leaving the way I did. I haven't been back to the house yet but I figured you'd be here."

Luke gave her an encouraging smile and bent down to her to kiss her.

"Now it's about 90."

"Nice to know." Luke laughed. "Do you want anything to eat? I was going to head downstairs but I can make us dinner up here before I do that if you want."

"Naw I'm good. Lane gave me a Danish and a donut and coffee. I'm good for a while. Can you stop by after you close up?" Lorelai asked.

"Yeah, of course. It shouldn't be too late. It's been pretty slow all day today so it shouldn't take long. Do you want me to stay tonight?"

"If you could. It'd be nice to spend some time with you that doesn't involve my mother encroaching in on it."

"Alright. Well I'd better head downstairs. You can eat up here if you want or come down with me."

"Dirty." Lorelai smiled and wrinkled her nose the same way she always had when somebody said anything that could interpreted as remotely dirty.

"Just come down stairs and eat your food."

"That's even more dirty than what you said before! Tsk, tsk Luke Danes, what am I going to do with you?"

"Well I could think of a few things." he said as he placed his hand tenderly on her upper arm and leaned in to kiss her again.

"Alright. I'll go downstairs with you for a little bit but I do have to go to the inn in a bit and take care of some things. It's quite possible that Michel is going to try to kill me for not being there earlier."

They went downstairs, hand in hand. Lorelai smiled and remembered the bridge again. _Lorelai & Luke Always…it has a nice ring to it._


	12. Say you love me, you know I do

**Chapter 12: Say you love me, you know I do.**

"Why can't you stay with Logan every once in a while instead of him being here all of the time? He's getting boy smell all over the place." Paris chastized Rory from her desk.

"First off, he's not my boyfriend, and second it's better than the smell of the Oriental Ramen you're so fond of making."  
"Rory, he's here all of the time, you guys are the most coupley non-couple I have ever seen, and there is nothing about either one of you that doesn't have everything to do with the other" said Paris.

"So does this mean I get to inquire about Doyle now? Because I have a few questions. How often do you guys come up for air, because you've gotta be pretty parched with all of the screaming I hear you doing on a semi-nightly basis." Rory snapped back.

"Topic dropped."

"Wait, I won? That easily? …I'll take it."

Rory was sitting on the grass, leaning against "her" tree as she attempted to read her text book for the sixteenth time. "Freedom of Speech in the United States" just could not hold her attention. _This is insane, Gilmore. Stop it. It's Communication Law, you WILL fail if you don't read this now _she kept telling herself. But somehow, her thoughts always managed to wander to Logan, and to what Paris had said to her earlier.

_We're not dating, we're not coupley. We're not any of the things she says…are we? I can't say that I don't like him. I like him. But I know he's not commitment guy, he's told me that. So why the hell am I doing this to myself? Damnit! Just focus Gilmore. Stay away from Logan thoughts. West Virginia versus Barnette…Why the hell doesn't he want to date me?_

Reading just wasn't going to happen. She looked out over the campus, searching for a way to get her mind off of Logan and everything that now seemed to be so complicated with him. _Maybe I should just talk to him about it. Yeah…that's what I'll do. Just talk to him. I can do that. Can't I?_

She closed her textbook and threw it into her bag. Standing up, Rory threw it over her shoulder and began walking determinedly towards Logan's dorm room. She knew that Logan wouldn't be in class yet. It was still ten O'clock in the morning, there was no way he was out of bed.

Lorelai walked through the front doors of the Dragonfly just in time to hear Michel "playing" with some of the children of one of the guests.

"Stay away from me, you dirty little toad!" he yelled in his thick French accent.

"You're funny, say it again, say it again!" the kids encouraged as they jumped around the front desk.

"No! Now go away, go! I said go, you little miscreants!"

Lorelai walked past the desk, going for stealth, but failed to escape Michel's view.

"Lorelai, where have you been? These things are annoying me!" he whined.

She looked at the kids.

"Hey guys, having fun?" she asked as the kids all nodded. "Why don't you take Michel down to the lake and have him show you the swans! He absolutely LOVES them!"

"You are an evil woman." Michel said, astonished.

"Delightfully so." Lorelai chuckled as she walked into the kitchen.

"Alright, I've been in the place for more than a minute and have yet to have a coffee in my hand and a donut on a plate. What's going on people?" she joked.

Sookie was leaning over the counter with her hands on her cheeks. She took a deep breath and sighed.

Lorelai came up to her and placed a caring hand on her back.  
"Sook, what's wrong?"

"We're out of flour. I can't make anything without flour. No bread, no dessert, nothing!" Sookie said, crying.

"Flour, hun?"

"We don't have any! Ricky used the rest of it to make a birthday cake for one of the guests. A birthday cake! And he didn't tell me. What am I supposed to do? I could close down the restaurant for the day until we get some. That's it. Go home people, the restaurant's closed! Get out! Out, out, out, out!" Sookie yelled.

"Woah, woah there Sookie. We're not going to close the restaurant down for the day. What we're going to do is have you finish up the things for breakfast that we can still make without flour. While you're doing that, the guys will run over to Doose's and buy as much flour and Taylor will let them pay for which will be more than enough for the day," Lorelai said as three of the kitchen workers ran out of the kitchen, coats in tow. "And while all of this is going on, you are going to tell me what's really wrong." Lorelai said calmly.

"Nothing's wrong, I'm just all hormonal and Jackson's working all of the time and he can't help with Davey much and I'm all pregnant. He's hiding from the town and I'm stuck here while he's with his vegetables which he loves more than his fat, emotional, mood swinging wife."

"Okay, slow down. First off, Jackson adores you. You are a beautiful pregnant lady and you have nothing to worry about. It will be alright. Why don't you call the temp place and have them send over somebody for a few days and you can take some time off, rest, and just spend time with your husband, mood swings and all?"

"Alright. Yeah that sounds okay. You're right," Sookie chuckled, "I'm just so wahh! I'll call now."

"Okay. It'll be alright. I'm just going to get some coffee and get out front and get the books all done okay? Feel better, Sook." Lorelai said as she made way for the door.

"OH! Wait. You were supposed to tell me about stuff with Luke and everything. You were all frantic last time we talked." Sookie remembered.

Lorelai smiled mischievously. "Later, my love. Right now, there are some hills that are definitely alive with the sound of music and I have to go prancing around in meadows."


	13. Lions, Tigers and Ultimatums

Chapter 13: Lions, Tigers, and Ultimatums Author's Note: So it's been a good two years or so since I've written. I'm so, so, so sorry about that. I watched the rest of the series and kind of forgot about that. But now I've gotten my inspiration back. Somewhat. I think I've lost some of the characterizations so please R&R with anything that might help. Enjoy! Chapter 13: Lions, Tigers, and Ultimatums

Rory walked up to Logan's dorm, a determined bounce to her step and an attempt at passive stoicism on her face. She raised her hand to knock on the door, but hesitated. _What am I doing? This was my idea…nope. No. I'm not talking myself out of this. Yep. I'm doing this. Now. Knock, Rory. Knock….by knock I mean now. _Finally, she knocked on the door. Before she could rap her knuckles on the door the third time, Logan opened it.

"Hey Ace," he said as he put his hand on her shoulder. "What's up? I was just going to see if I could take you out to lunch. You interested?"

"Yeah, but can we go inside quick first?"

"Sure, but I only have an hour for lunch. I've got class soon."

"Logan, you don't go to class. Are you broken?"

"Cute, but no, I'm not broken. My dad's coming to campus and it's the only excuse I have not to see him. So I figured I'd go and see what it's like. Renaissance Literature can't be that bad can it?" he asked her hopefully.

Rory simply gave him a doubtful glare as she walked by him and entered the common room of his dormitory. She looked around. _Definitely a boy's room,_ she thought to herself as she noticed the clothes strewn about the room and the pizza boxes on the coffee table.

"What's on your mind?" Logan asked.

"What makes you think there's something on my mind?"

"The fact that you're postponing food during lunch time when I've personally witnessed you make a waitress cry at a buffet because they ran out of macaroni and cheese. What's up?"

"Well," she tried to stall. _No Gilmore, just get to the point. There's no point in putting it off now. _"Why don't you want to date me? I know you like me, you've said so. But you still won't date me…and all I can think of is we just have a good time in bed but I'm not much good at anything else. Is that what's going on? Am I just good for one thing? Am I more to you than just some casual shag? Because you don't spend time taking a casual shag out to lunch and dinner, and you don't flirt with a casual shag in front of your friends. So is it just some act to make me feel special? I don't understand. You are –"

"Rory!" He cut her off. "Which one of those questions am I supposed to answer?"

She remained silent, opting instead to simply cross her arms and glance to the right.

"Look. You said you didn't want to date. I never said I wouldn't date you, just that I'm not that guy. Maybe someday we will be dating, but I need some time. I do like you and I do want to date you but I don't want to end up making you hate me when I screw up. You're not just a casual shag and I flirt with you around my friends because I enjoy flirting with you, I thought you enjoyed it to. None of it is an act. You should know that by now."

"I don't know that. You didn't tell me that until now, how would I know? I'm a girl, boys don't make sense to me." She said.

"Well that's good to know" Logan replied with a slight chuckle and his signature smile.

"Shut up. I know I'm insane but I can't do this anymore." She paused. "I'm not ultimatum girl, but I have to be right now. I can't just be casual with you anymore. It's either you're with me and I'm with you and nobody else…or we just go back to being friends. I can't pretend that it's all kosher."

Logan didn't say anything, simply stood staring at Rory, apparently dumbstruck, a blank expression on his face.

"Okay, by your silence I'm going to go with either we're just friends now, or you need time to think about this. So I'm going to let you think about it, and I'm going to go. Rain check on lunch I guess. Bye, Logan." She said and turned around and walked out the door.

Lorelai sat at her desk balancing the checking accounts for the Inn. Everything was coming out perfectly. _Factor in two or three hundred for the ton of flour the guys are buying from Doose's and we're still good. Life's perfect!_ She thought to herself.

Sookie walked in with a half-hearted smile on her face. "They're sending over a temp right now."

"That's great, hon. As soon as they get here you can tell them what's going on and then go home and rest. It'll be good for you." She said that last part with the most sincere enthusiasm. But Sookie looked less than pleased. "Why aren't you happy, young skywalker?"

"You're going to like them better than me. You'll tell this lovely little Mindy girl everything that's meant for me to hear and then you'll replace me. 'Sookie who?' you'll say. And then I'll just be that crazy pregnant lady that you used to work with."

"Wow, you were serious about the hormones weren't ya. Her names Mindy?" Lorelai processed. "Sounds like a stripper name. And you could never be replaced. And if by telling her everything you mean that I'll tell her that her cooking is sub par when compared to the perfection that is yours, then yes, I'll tell her everything. And as far as you being a crazy pregnant lady? Well…" she paused, "that part's pretty dead on."

Sookie's mood lightened. "Okay but only if you promise."

"I promise."

"Okay, now tell me what happened with Luke. You're all glowy so I know it's nothing bad but I still want to know."

Lorelai delved into every detail of the last forty-eight hours between her and Luke, and Sookie listened intently, oohing and aahing at all the right moments. Lorelai smiled to herself as she finished her story.

"Lorelai's got a boyfriend, Lorelai's got a boyfriend." Sookie chanted in a sing song like voice.

Lorelai walked into the diner where Luke stood behind the counter taking yet another lecture from Taylor Doose. She could tell he wasn't paying any attention to him. His eyes flicked up to meet hers as soon as she walked in the door and he smiled as if to thank her for saving him.

"Yeah, excuse me Taylor." He said as he walked out from behind the counter and over to Lorelai.

He gave her a kiss hello and put his arm around her shoulder. "You hungry? Want some coffee?" he asked. "Save me." He whispered, pleading.

She laughed a little. "Yeah, a coffee as usual. And I guess I'll take a muffin too." She said as she walked up to the counter and sad down, looking over at Taylor. "Why hello there, fancy meeting you here." She said, trying to sound as if she walked straight out of a 1950's movie.

Taylor starred at her bewildered before getting up and walking slowly out of the diner, glancing back at her every now and again.

Luke came back and handed Lorelai her large mug full of coffee. "Oh thank you, thank you, thank you." She said as she started sipping her lovely liquid.

He leaned on the counter in front of her, watching her drink as if it were art.

"So what was Taylor lecturing you on?" she asked him.

"Taylor. He's a moron." Luke said, an immediate irritation in his tone. "He saw your U-Haul and was lecturing me on how it's my fault that you're leaving and you're closing the Inn and that's taking business away from Star's Hollow. I told him you weren't leaving and he wouldn't believe me. So I let him talk. Windbag."

Lorelai laughed at him and then leaned over the counter and kissed him. "My big brave coffee man."

"Yeah well, can I take my coffee addict to dinner tonight? Do you have to work?"

"Nope. I'm all free tonight. I am done for the day."

"Good. I'll pick you up after close. Shouldn't take too long." He said.

"Okay. I'm going to go and finish unpacking. I'll see you later. Say kiss."

"Kiss."


End file.
